


change your heartbeat

by lisbethsalamanders



Category: Black Mirror
Genre: Canon Bisexual Character, Canon Lesbian Character, Canon Lesbian Relationship, F/F, Femslash, Fluff, San Junipero
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-25
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-08-24 16:09:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8378800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lisbethsalamanders/pseuds/lisbethsalamanders
Summary: bits and pieces of a lifetime. vignettes about kelly & yorkie from black mirror's episode "san junipero", very likely to be multiple chapters.





	1. they say in heaven loves comes first

They agree they will switch off together, years upon years down the road. They’ll lay on their beach during a full moon and kiss one last time as the world fades around them. But that is a lifetime away.

Now, now is the time to sit on the porch drinking strong black coffee and watching her girl swim naturally as a dolphin in the shallows. She’d never considered herself particularly outdoorsy, but so many things have changed here. Yorkie has legs she hasn’t used in forty years and her boundless energy drives Kelly. They swim, they hike, they ride bikes, they explore every square foot of their new home. 

They grow and learn together slowly with the warming knowledge that they have all the time in the world. They agree on important details, like turning their pain sensors back on and toggling in a need to eat and sleep. Kelly likes her music loud and her temperatures tropical, Yorkie reads biographies and wakes at the crack of dawn. Kelly is night blooming jasmine, Yorkie a stretching sunflower, tall and bright. Kelly laughs a soprano song, Yorkie an alto rumble. Kelly wears perfume of black currant and musk, Yorkie prefers to smell like warm linen. They both prefer warm to cool, dogs to cats, whiskey to vodka. When seasons become part of the program, they go inland for snowball fights and flower shows and pumpkin carving. They follow current events, argue over art and politics, introduce each other to friends and family who eventually cross over. Kelly cries at old movies, Yorkie cries during baseball games. Kelly drives recklessly and Yorkie will always, always worry.   


They discover a mutual enthusiasm for honey sun drenched lazy afternoons spent in bed working miracles between each other’s thighs. Each time is a reminder of the tell-tale twinge she felt in her gut that first night as she pressed her palm between khaki shorts and cotton panties and felt Yorkie moan into the kiss. She whispers that to Yorkie late one night, when they’re tangled in the sheets and the waves outside the bay window lap at the shore like swoons. “I think I loved you right away,” she speaks softly into the shell of her wife’s ear. “Your stupid collared shirt and big doe eyes and how you let me boss you around.” Yorkie’s chuckle rumbles against her heart. “You were so scared but so strong. You sort of blew me away. You still blow me away.” Yorkie, always pensive and reserved in the post-coital wee hours, says nothing but pulls back to look into her eyes and give her the soft smile that makes her heart feel like it’s dripping candle wax. And it’s all background noise compared to that.


	2. i can't speak when i look in your eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm no good at replying to the unbelievably sweet comments and kudos I've received, but I am SO grateful that you guys are enjoying this and I want to thank all of you so much <33333333 I just love these two so much and I'm so happy other people do too, you know??? Anyway, thank you thank you thank you and I love you all so much <33

She doesn’t return the next week. Instead she spends the hours she would’ve been in San Junipero with the worn shoebox filled with photos she keeps on a high shelf in her room. Yes, they’ve all been uploaded to some website and the facility gives her a tablet to use as she wishes, but she’s kept the originals and there’s something about the weight of photo paper in her hands.

Birthdays, christenings, weddings, and everyday moments peer up at her. She orders the photos by year, the arthritis in her knuckles making the process painstaking. Faces long gone but still dear. They don’t frighten her any longer, she notices. There’s a dull ache low in her abdomen, but they don’t bite like they used to. They tell her she’s headstrong and stubborn but loyal, ready to think of them before herself in any and all situations and she could never argue with that. She closes the box after a time, placing her hands on the top and ringing Laura to put it back on the shelf before she goes to bed.

She returns the week after. That kid with the glasses (Henry? Harvey? something with an H she can never get right) tells her he’s seen Yorkie here and there over the past two weeks. She’ll come into Tucker’s to say hello and play a round of Bubble Bobble before heading on her way, usually uptown. 

She’s rarely made it up that way. Uptown is full of coffee shops and sports bars and that wasn’t what she was here for. There’s no trace for blocks until the neighborhood turns residential, lined with heather colored townhouses and the occasional garden. It’s not for her, but she could see how someone would enjoy living in this spot.

On a hunch, she runs from building to building scanning the resident list on each door. Four blocks of this make her calves ache before she finds Yorkie’s name out front of a cozy brick brownstone. She rings the bell next to her name and glances at her watch. It’s been nearly an hour and she taps the tip of her silver sandal on the concrete until the buzzer rings and she’s running up three flights of steps to pound on 3B.

The door opens a crack and Kelly’s breathless, winded from the stairs. “I didn’t know where you lived! Oh my god, I had to go full on detective to find you!”

Green eyes without glasses widen along with the door. “I didn’t think - after last week - Kelly, I said those things. I was so selfish, that I didn’t think to ask about what you’d been through -”

“Nope, shut up.” Kelly closes her eyes. “Let me see your place.”

Yorkie steps aside, eyes still perfect, symmetrical circles and knuckles white on the brass doorknob.

Desk lamps cast a cozy glow over several bookshelves lined with hardcovers and records. Framed photos of Machu Picchu and Victoria Falls mark the walls between them, making Kelly ponder how many other world wonders line the apartment. There’s no television and the sofas look worn. A candle is lit on the far end by a window, making the place smell like eucalyptus. “I like it,” Kelly smiles. “Feels like you.”

Yorkie has only moved to shut the door gently behind her, hands pushed deep into the pockets of her jeans. Kelly moves to one shelf where a row of leather bound novels take up space. “Are you a big reader? These are some hefty tomes you’ve got here.” 

Yorkie shrugs, gaze still fixed on Kelly, gauging. “When I was a kid, yeah. Audiobooks were a big deal for me later on, too, so that never really went away.” She shudders in a deep breath. “Look, I know you don’t want me to apologize, but you’ve got to let me at least say that I’m sorry. I’ll leave it there if you want, but I had to say that or I’ll go crazy.”

The spines of the books are old, ancient feeling. Kelly lifts one from the shelf, dust rising into the lamplight. _Great Expectations_. “I had to read this in high school,” Kelly says, opening the cover and moving her fingertips over the ink. “Never did, though.” Yorkie’s stare burrows into the back of her head as she carefully puts the book back in place. “I keep remembering things I didn’t do.” She turns, meeting Yorkie’s eyes for the first time. “And Allison. I keep thinking of Allison, and how furious she’d be with me for letting something wonderful, something that I want so badly, slip away because I was too focused on her.”

The smallest flicker of light flashes across Yorkie’s features. “Please tell me what that means.” Her voice is mouse grey, hiding in the corner, afraid of what it’s asking.

“It means - that your place is really cute and all, but wouldn’t the beach with your wife feel more appropriate for the afterlife?”

Yorkie’s arms are deceptively strong and they lift Kelly into the air with no effort at all. The world will keep spinning, the sun will keep rising, and she can no longer find any guilt within herself for choosing this. Tonight they will stay in, tell stories and secrets, and make love until Kelly turns back into a pumpkin at midnight. And it will be the beginning.


	3. i will catch you, i will be waiting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank everyone who left kudos and comments, i'm so happy you all wanna read about these two as much as I do ahhhhhhh you guys are the best ily <333

Being a native Californian, Yorkie knew beaches in her youth but not like this. Those were public beaches she’d frequent on summer Saturdays with her family, her nose slathered with sunscreen and wearing a bathing suit modest as a nun’s habit. Now they have a beach of their own. Directly out the window of their bedroom is the nameless, beautiful sea. A semicircle of rocks and grassy dunes keeps it private, sheltered, theirs. 

Kelly wakes alone one very early morning, always shaken to feel the sheets cool next to her, and wanders out to find Yorkie lying on the sand wearing nothing at all. She remains quiet but sits down next to her as the sun peeks from behind the horizon. It’s not unusual to find Yorkie in positions like this. She reminds Kelly of a baby giraffe sometimes: tall, a little gangly, learning anew the things its body can do and reveling in the strangeness of it all. 

Kelly smiles as Yorkie stretches in the new sunlight. “Good morning, weirdo.” She grins wider as Yorkie snorts out a laugh. “Is this beach nudist now?”

Yorkie opens one eye in a squint. “It’s so warm even when it’s dark here, I couldn’t help myself.”

“I got it.” Kelly stands, tipping her head back. The morning always brings a breeze off their ocean that smells of brine and some faraway place she can’t name. Kelly’s heard of other towns, other cities, but this one is still so brilliant and new that they haven’t looked beyond its borders yet. One day, one day. 

She stretches her arms wide, the purple linen sheet she’d wrapped herself in to walk outside fluttering behind her like a parachute. “You may be onto something here.” She lets it go and it flies backwards towards the house. “Let’s be exhibitionists.” With a flourish, she swoops down to straddle Yorkie’s hips. 

She leans in slowly, then presses her lips in quick pecks to Yorkie’s nose, forehead, cheeks while Yorkie shrieks and retaliates with a few pointed jabs to the most ticklish parts of Kelly’s ribs. She collapses next her, still giggling wildly. The sand is pleasantly cool on her back and she wiggles against it, basking in the early morning energy.

“You know, I can probably count on my fingers how many sunrises I’ve seen,” Yorkie says softly after a few moments, calm coming into the air. Kelly rolls onto her side, shaking the sand from her curls and propping herself on her elbow. With her other hand, she traces lines from freckle to freckle on Yorkie’s pale stomach and breasts. 

“No early mornings as a kid? All-nighters in school?” Yorkie’s hand comes to take her roaming one. She stares at the sky as she presses Kelly’s fingers absently against her cheek. 

“Once. It was a Saturday when I was maybe eight. I’d saved some allowance money and bought a bunch of comics in secret, stayed up all night reading them.”

Kelly can’t help but toss her head back in laughter. “You _would_ have been a flashlight under the covers type, I love it.”

Yorkie’s smile is delicate, her eyes far away. “I remember that sunrise. I watched it through my bedroom window. I was so tired but it was amazing, you know? No one else awake but me and the sun.” She pauses and Kelly waits. It’s rare, so rare, for her wife to talk about her childhood spent under the thumb of fire and brimstone, so she waits.

After a handful of breaths, Yorkie’s green eyes meet her brown and she squeezes Kelly’s fingers tight. “Thanks for watching this one with me.” Kelly leans in to kiss her as the waves break at their feet.


End file.
